


So how're we gonna pay the therapy cat?

by petalSpitter



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Abandonment, Bonding, Gen, Insomnia, Nightmares, cat cuddling, therapy cats
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-26
Updated: 2018-05-26
Packaged: 2019-05-13 22:56:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14757857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/petalSpitter/pseuds/petalSpitter
Summary: Caleb can't sleep. Jester isn't sleeping. There's no better time to bare your soul than three in the morning.





	So how're we gonna pay the therapy cat?

**Author's Note:**

> My memory of the specifics of the last 2-3 episodes are very fuzzy but this is intended to fit into the latter half of episode 19. This was mainly written on the fly and minimally edited so bits and pieces are shite. Comments are very much appreciated even if they're just one word!

The rains and the clouds had finally passed late into the night, leaving the world naked, damp, and reborn as raindrops had scrubbed away most of the grit and dirt that had built up over the past few days. The world was beautiful as it was, shining from its fresh bath and gleaming in the moonlight.  
Caleb was thinking about anything but the beauty of nature, however. 

Like how it’d been three hours since he’d gotten off watch and he still couldn’t get any damn sleep. He tossed one way then turned another only to find each position more uncomfortable than the last. He closed his eyes slowly, then squeezed them shut as hard as he could but didn’t feel any sleepier than before. If anything, he felt more awake than ever. He huffed and turned again, trying to zoom in on the sounds of nature rather than the permanent ringing in his ears. (Trent knew he was too close to that powderkeg when it went off. Why did he do it? What good is a war mage with tinnitus?)

As he tries to zero in on the background noise around him Caleb hears a sob. He freezes instantly, a shot of adrenaline going through his blood as he tried to identify the sound. Was it an animal? An ambush? Did he remember to set his Alarm? What-?

A second sob oozes into the damp night air and Caleb sits up, straining his eyes in the moonlight until he sees Jester at the edge of the pile of sleeping bodies. She’s hugging her knees as tightly as she can with her back to the group, her shoulders violently jerking up and down every few seconds as she cries.

“Jester?” Caleb whispers, glancing at the rest of the group to make sure he hasn’t woken anyone up. “Jester, are you-?” His words catch in his throat as she whips around, the moonlight framing her in light while her form remains pitch black except for the cold shine of her eyes. Caleb jerks back so far he tumbles right off the edge of the wagon, the wind whipping through his hair for a split second before he slams into the mud with an “OOF!” (He swears he sees Mollymauk smirk in his sleep.)

“Caleb!?” Jester leans over the edge of the wagon and whisper-yells. “Are you okay!?”

Caleb runs a hand through the mud all around him and now plastered onto most of his back, flicking a handful of it up at her and missing miserably. “Just peachy...” He coughs and tries to suck in a breath.

“I don’t think healing spells work on getting the wind knocked out of you.” She thinks for a few seconds. “Hold still and I’ll get down there so I can help you back up! Unless you like being in the mud?”

“I don’t prefer this mud.”

“Okay! Stay there!” Several soft, deliberate creaks cry out into the night air as Jester tries to climb off the other side of the wagon without waking anyone, followed by a thud and a huff as she lands in the dirt and walks over to Caleb. “Sorry about scaring you. I can’t really turn the eyeshine thing off.”

“It can’t be helped. ” He grunts as he takes her hand and picks himself off the ground. "It's a part of you- well, it's a part of your eyes."

They stand in silence for a stretch, Caleb looking at her red, puffy eyes then looking away while Jester continues to stare at him with a smile.

“So- ah- this isn’t my area of expertise so feel free to brush me off but- what was upsetting you?”

“That? Oh, it was just... a kiddy thing.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“No.” Jester shakes her head, then pauses for a moment and nods as she drops her smile. “Sort of... Promise not to laugh?”

“I’m not a very giggly person.”

“Well duh I don’t think I’ve seen you laugh once the entire time I’ve known you. Can we go somewhere more private, though? Please?” She has a pleading note in her final word that makes Caleb’s heart twist in his chest. 

“Sure.” He holds out his hand and she takes it, nearly yanking him off his feet as she drags him to the edge of the wagon’s view and collapses next to a tree, hugging her knees tightly again. Caleb delicately eases into a sitting position beside her, looking at her expectantly, then looking away as she winces and purses her lips. Several minutes pass as she internally composes her monologue, her breath sporadically hitching to match the lone tears that inch down her cheeks. 

“Okay, I-” She takes a breath as a knot ties itself in her throat and her eyes swell in tandem. “I-” The knot gets bigger and she takes another breath in an attempt to untie it.

Caleb gives her a sympathetic look and rubs her arm. “If you have to cry to say it I won’t judge you.”

“Okay...” She chokes out, tears tumbling down her cheeks and splattering on her skirt as she surrenders to the knot in her throat. “You have to promise not to laugh though because it’s really silly...”

“I promise.”

Jester hiccups as her chests gets tighter and tighter, laughing dryly as she wiped her eyes. “I had a nightmare.”

“Nightmares aren’t silly.” He said.

“I know. But crying because of nightmares is, isn’t it?” She sniffles and looks over to him.

“I don’t think so. Nott and I cry after nightmares all the time.” Caleb shrugs and pulls his coat tighter around him. “Usually we cuddle Frumpkin for a few minutes until we don’t feel like shit anymore. He even sleeps with me but ah- Nott drolls and gnaws on him in her sleep so I usually poof him away after she’s fallen back asleep.”

Jester chuckles and rests her head on her knees, choking on the words a couple times before she finally gets out “C-can I- Can I cuddle Frumpkin, too?”

“Of course. Just ah-” He snaps his fingers and wills a catnapping Frumpkin into his arms, stroking the beast’s head to wake him before handing him off to Jester.

“He’s really warm.” She beams as she molds herself around the pliant ball of fur, scratching between his ears and summoning a deep purr from him. “I feel a little better already.”

“ _Ja_ , he is, isn’t he? It really helps me no matter how bad I get. It’s hard to be miserable when you’re cuddling a cat.”

“Even if he is an evil bloodsucker. Aren’t you, Frumpkin? Aren’t you?” She smiles at Caleb before baby talking to Frumpkin. “Aren’t you just the most adorable little vampire kitty?”

“He is pretty adorable...” The both slip back into silence as Jester continues to pet Frumpkin, her slowly evening breaths melding with the sound of Frumpkin’s purr.

“So...” Caleb shifts again, breathing warm air onto his hands and rubbing them together. “Do you want to talk about it? It never makes the actual thing better, but it makes you feel better.”

“Yeah.” She nods and stares into space. “Um... It’s a nightmare I have a lot. But it’s changed a lot since I met you all.” Jester takes a deep breath as the knot ties itself in her throat again. “Growing up, I would dream- I would have nightmares about being alone or abandoned and I couldn't recognize my own home. I’d walk around and I would know I was the only one in the entire building, and when I looked outside there was no one there... Not even The Traveler was there. It was just me and this gigantic maze of a place.”

“What changed?”

“You guys left me. Well- you leave me. In my dreams, it always starts out with me locked in my room listening to you all chatting in the parlor about going to a really far off place. I keep on trying to unlock the door and trying and trying and trying- and I always fail until you leave. Then I’m alone again, and I keep-” She sniffles. “I keep trying to catch up with you all but I’m always behind. I can always hear you but I’m never _with_ you and I feel so alone I can’t help but _scream.”_  Jester sucks in a massive breath and lets it out as a whine, slowly bowing forward as another sob tears out of her. “I know it’s a dumb dream, but the thought of being so alone terrifies me so much I can’t- I can’t think, I can’t do anything-” She collapses back against the tree and Frumpkin leaps out of her grasp, not wanting to be squished again.

“That’s not dumb,” Caleb says as Frumpkin settles into his lap. “I would be terrified, too, if I was abandoned like that... and hearing us all just out of reach? _Gott_ , that’s just hot piss on a fresh wound.”

Jester giggles, taking Frumpkin back and crossing her legs to dump him in her own lap. “I’m stealing that expression.”

“Go ahead; it’s not mine to begin with.”

Jester strokes Frumpkin’s fur in contemplative silence, tracing his stripes with her fingertips before looking over to Caleb. 

“What’re your nightmares usually about?”

Caleb freezes, eyes wide as he suddenly zeroed in on a leaf and began to gingerly take it apart. “Um... I... I’m not ready to tell you that, yet. I promise I will eventually, but not tonight. Tonight should be about you.”

“Okay. Do you pinky promise?” She held out her hand.

“Pinky promise.” He held out his hand and locked pinkies with her.

They sat in silence once again, drinking in the now-clear skies and the cold air until the chill finally drove Caleb back to the pile of warm bodies. Jester followed not long after, still holding Frumpkin even as she resumed her place in the wagon. 

* * *

 When morning comes, the two act as if nothing had ever happened. Nott hands  Caleb a mug of hastily brewed (and burnt) coffee and whispers ‘Pinky promise, right?’

”Pinky promise,” Caleb says.


End file.
